When I Hit The Bucket

we may not certain about finding true love, we may not even be sure of experiencing real happiness, but death is one event we are all sure of! Yet we never seem to talk about it, or discuss it.....its too damn depressing, isn't it?

I was watching The Bucket List last night and was at first amazed at how the characters Edward and Carter handled their deaths. It was only later, as the movie progressed that I realized that the amazing part was how they handled their Life, knowing that they were going to hit the bucket very soon.

If I were to make my own bucket list this is what it would look like right now:
1. Be a Millionaire Businessman.
2. Lay foundation for a large NGO.
3. Go on an extensive tour of Europe.
4. Sing at a Jazz Bar in New York.
5. Watch a Grand Opera Performance.
6. Write a Musical Play.
7. Write a Book.

I will add more to it as time goes by! Suggest me some if you wish to!

Pray For Rain

it is 19th June and there's still no sign of the monsoon clouds. The monsoon in India has been notoriously famous for arriving well before time and catching everyone by surprise. I remember during my childhood, before School began we had to buy our 'Gum Boots' for the monsoons. But it seems the times have changed in a decade and children's schools have resumed this time around with their raincoats in their bags rather than being on them.

Something has definitely changed, it takes no freakin' degree in geology or meteorology or whatever-the-hell-logy it takes to study the science of seasons! And these signs beg of all of us to think about what's happening. Try and recall when was the last time you saw the monsoons come in so late? How often did sudden thunderstorms, cyclones and tornadoes knock the life out of cities and villages in the 80s or for that matter even in the 90s? Were the summers this hot when you were a kid? So what has changed all this?

We have a host of eco-crusaders (read environmentalists) telling us through compelling movies like The 11th Hour and An Inconvenient Truth of the impending danger lurking over us of pushing mankind to the brink of extinction due to global warming and other such factors. But who cares about what they have to say. I have been taught to live for the moment and take advantage of every single resource and person around me for my advantage. But Mother Earth, in whose bosom you and I live, has a philosophy of coexistence she strongly believes in. This is perhaps why we still haven't been swallowed up by the ground below us (or maybe she has already run out of patience with a 40% increase in earthquakes worldwide in the last 10 years).

The time had finally come for us to stop bullshitting ourselves, to stop wearing Green T-shirts and Putting of Lights for one hour in the whole damn year. It is time to stop Talking Green and Start Doing Green. It is an everyday battle we have to fight; not with multinational corporations or superpowers, but first with our conscience to do what's best for the environment and me to 'coexist'.

I received an SMS from clergyman friend of mine some days back asking us to pray for us, since God will answer our prayers. I think God has already answered our prayers for that by giving us an Opportunity to save the planet. I believe it is our turn now to claim that saving grace through our everyday decisions and clean up our mess for our Mamma Earth!

Time To Say Goodbye

ever seen a shooting star set into the horizon? Well, that is what I witnessed earlier today as I bid farewell to senior leader in Infosys. She has been in this industry for over 38 1/2 years and has seen the best and the worst times of this industry. And the one thing she said yesterday that will always remain with me is that, "Tough times don't last, tough people do. And being tough is not about not losing, it is about having the will to go on despite failures. And this will is only with those who Love what they do!"

I wonder if I sit to count the number of things I have failed at, how many of those things did I give up after encountering that failure? And out of all those things I gave up, how many of them were things I really liked doing? I guess none. Those things I really enjoyed doing are things I still do to this day: Music and Song Writing, Singing, Working on Creative Projects, being a 'Baba' and helping people with their problems. This is who I am and I can never deny, distort or destroy it!

As we watched her leave the programme, I realized there is little time left for me to discover my true potential and take advantage of it for my sake and the benefit of others. We all have to say our goodbyes sometime. All we can do is make it sweeter by doing what we love and loving what we do!

Late Night @ Kottara

it was 3.30 am and I was at my friend's place at Kottara talking to them about life, work, life @ work, work in life, friends, hobbies, and practically everything under the monsoon-cloud-covered sun! I had met my college buddies after almost a year and it felt like a crime of negligence on my part for not having kept in touch with them for so many months.

Still I kept this feeling at bay and continued to talk to them and listen to their stories as they told it to me with great fervour. And I realized something very strange, that they and I have similar problems we face at office, it is like irrespective of the geographical location and nature of the project we had the same set of a-holes ruining it for us at work! We shared notes and tips on how to handle these creatures and how to get our lives out of rut and start living again!

Life is tough everywhere, but having family close by reduces the agony of separation to some extent. I stay away from home for a little less than 5 days and I know how restless I get by that 5th day! So how much worse is their pain, they who spend 3 days travelling to get to the place they call 'home'? They stay in 3 BHKs, well furnished, stocked with chocolates and ice-creams in the refrigerator and Broadband Internet Connectivity in their bedrooms. They have carom boards and Uno Cards to play with and a television to watch. Yet they call this their 'Room' not their 'Home'. It takes something else to build a Home: love of the members who live there, care and concern for each other, a sense of sharing and a whole lot of humor and laughs. And as we sat and watched the English lose to the Dutch at a game that the British invented, we played Uno and laughed like we've never laughed before in ages all having fun at each other's expense. It was as if the din faded, everything went slow-mo and a soft instrumental music began to flow through that 'Room' transforming it into a 'Home'. We shared and ate the ice-cream from the box, gave each one a piece of chocolate and kept a count of who had how many points at the end of each game. Someone rightly said, "Home is where the Heart is!"

And that's when it became clear to me how they could live for so many months so far away from home. It was only their love for each other, their affection and concern for one another that made their house a home. I hope they carry this sense of home with them wherever they go, just as I carried it with me back home.

Behind The Sound-Proof Glass

it was so silent in there I could hear my heart-beating. Actually, it sounded more like it was throbbing for fear of what was to happen next. He told me to stay steady and not move from my mark and I so felt like the son of William Tell at that moment! Nevertheless, I tried to keep my cool, wiping my brow as I stood in that air conditioned sound-proof room waiting to sing the first few notes and then finally the moment came and went past me before I could even realize what the hell happened!

It took me a total of 15 hours to reach that recording studio located close to Mangalore City. the first 12 hours were by a Volvo Bus from Pune and these were all the hours it was supposed to take me to reach this beautiful city. But an accident on the way ensured my journey was halted abruptly at Kota, about a half hour drive from Udupi City. It was quite a shocker of an incident with the bus being violently jolted at 6 AM while its passengers were fast alseep. An oncoming bus scraped past our bus on the driver side as our adventureous man behind the wheels was overtaking a huge truck. The result was nearly catastrophic with the other bus falling into the ditch while we came to a screeching stop.

Anyways, a half hour and 2 local buses later I caught a bus to Udupi and decided to meet my granny who stayed there. Would I have met her had my bus not had this incident? I doubt I would have. I met her and had breakfast with her, met my uncles and aunts, my cousin brothers and played with my cutiepie niece.

Finally I reached my destination and began practising for the recording and boy was it tough. I thought it would be a breeze but having to sing in a particular tone and with certain expression and having to repeat the lines over and over and over again in takes and retakes knocked the wind out of me! Yet a sense of calm came over me when I entered that recording room. In a moment my life flashed before my eyes, those days of singing before guests, relatives and friends, those days of singing in a choir standing behind the microphone coz there was no space in front of it and those days when my voice was going through an identity crisis of sorts. I felt like today and every day of my life was planned by a higher force to see this day.

And I recorded, in 2 hours I managed 3 hymns and by the end of it I felt like I was on a roll and wanted to do more. It was the most enthralling experience I have had in years, an adventure of a lifetime. And for the first time I felt at home so far away from home, in the midst of what i loved most: music. Now I know that so long as I have faith in my self and my abilities I will always be safe and heard behind the sound-proof glass of life by the chief musician!

Sniffing Through Memories

a conversation with an online friend of mine got us talking about fragrances and our deep relation with them. I get a high every time I smell the first rains on the mud. Many can relate to what I mean by that. However, I am sure there are many of you who are reading this and going, "Yuck!". However, I am not here to argue about which is a superior smell and give out awards for it. I am just reminiscing the memories that each fragrance evokes for me.

Like the smell of petrol and car smoke after spending a good time vacationing in some remote village or hill station with 'clean fresh air'. Somehow, the lungs and the nostrils begin to long for them! And the smell of vanilla essence which reminds me of home, my mother and the caramel custard she makes. The smell of binding paper and new note books bring me warm memories of long gone days of school and the joy that accompanied it. The smell of corn cobs on the coal on a windy and rainy afternoon as I returned from college or the fragrance of 'masala chai' and 'kanda bhajiya' sitting there at the window sill of NELCO where I worked as a trainee. The fragrance of freshly cut grass at Infosys Mysore and exploding aromas of various cuisines at its food courts!

I think our lungs have a little memory of their own carrying a sample of each of our memorable fragrances in them and evoking those good ol' feelings long after the moment has gone past us. That explains why the scent of the woman/man we love is something we treasure most when our partners are no more. I think at times I have given too much importance to the senses of sight and sound, taste and touch. Come to think of it smell is the only sense that directly connects with our life-fuel (air) and our breath and is the reason why... mmmmm... Is that Dinner I smell?

What's That In My Eye?

it was a quiet and pleasant evening, the cool summer breeze brushing past my face and the fragrance of the rains that were to come lingering somewhere inside it; when all of a sudden! OW! I felt a sharp sting in my eye and a surging pain coursing through my being! For a moment I lost all track of space and sense and reached for the ailing organ to rub the anguish out of it. But the more I seemed to struggle with it, the worse it seemed to get!

Out of natural instincts I rushed to my mother for help and remedy. She tried to bring me relief by blowing a whiff of air into my eye so as to dislodge the alien matter out of it. However, the maternal rescue proved to be futile as the incorrigible invader seemed to be nestled firmly in there. Noticing her struggling with my eye, many other onlookers came forward to offer help: some with water to splash others with a hot towel to dab.

Finally it took the hand of a father to bring a sense of calm to my eye. He violently splashed water into the sore eye and it felt like the worst was over."Is it gone?", he enquired. I nodded in affirmation although I did complain of a burning sensation that the whole exercise left me with. They all speculated it must have been an insect that must have been there and its body fluid that was causing it. Then as I walked back towards everyone, one gentleman said, "You should let it be as it is. The eye will flush it out on its own!"

I did not know what sense that made since he ordeal seemed to have finished by then. But it was only 2 hours later when a little dead Fly was 'flushed' of my eye that I realized what he meant. Often in life too I struggle with problems that are beyond my sight and think my struggle with them will get me out of them. But it is silently enduring through it while being calm and composed that would have seen me through those storms.

And, yes, the burning stops finally and I am at peace!