i was watching this ad by a famous shampoo brand which has some famous actresses violently shaking their heads and letting their tresses sway freely in the air as they said this simple 2-letter word, "No!". They say it for about 40 seconds or so and manage to hold onto our attention despite saying a word nobody wants hear! Or do they?
Its a known fact that people don't like hearing 'no' for an answer and yet they treat someone who gives them that negative response like superstars. And how often have we seen people who say yes to everything being buried under a truckload of favors unto others and having no time to live his/her own life? The response you give speaks little of your occupancy with work and volumes of your position in social circles. A person who says 'Yes' to everything is seen as a Crowd Pleaser, someone who just finished reading Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. On the other hand, a person who says 'No' all the time is seen as a Snob or an Isolated Individual who has just returned from a One Man Moon Mission and does not want to be in contact with anybody. It is a tough balancing act and it has a lot to do with what is it that you are saying 'No' to.
If it is to some favour someone is asking of you, your saying no most of the time would suggest that you are super-busy or have other important things to tend to. But watch out for whom you end up trying this on because you will not be favoured by those people in your hour of need. However, saying 'Yes' to every favor sought from you is detrimental to your health as well as you could end up living through your life helping others live their dreams without you living yours. An excellent way to look at these two kind of people is to flesh them out as Noman and Yeswoman.
Noman is a bank employee working in the Loans Section and has the Job of saying 'No' to many applications during the day (refer to the movie Yes! to understand the character better). Yeswoman lives on the other end of that street with a stagnant Personal Assistantship Job with a young entrepreneur and has the unique distinction of being a Bridesmaid for 27 weddings (refer to the movie 27 Dresses to understand the character better). Both of them led miserable lives 'coz all Noman did was refuse every opportunity of experiencing something new and all Yeswoman could do was help others have their dream weddings while she stood beside them basking in their flattery.
Both did the exact opposite of each other, yet both were not happy with their lives. One afternoon when Noman went out for a post lunch walk down the street he bumped into Yeswoman and dropped the bride's dress and cake she held in her dainty hands. He picked her up, apologized and agreed to pay for the losses. She accepted the apology and agreed with his idea. Later that week he asked her out to dinner and she joined him by giving her friend's rehearsal dinner a slip. And guess what before they knew it, their lives were slowly being transformed. In the following summer she quit her dead end job and was living her life as a successful Marriage Consultant for which she procured a loan from Noman's contact at his bank. He too progressed in his bank after taking proactive steps and promoting micro-credit. The following year, the two were planning their own wedding and were moving into a new house which the two of them had purchased from their new found careers.
So I guess it is not so much the response that matters but your feelings for a particular response. If someone comes asking you for something you don't have the time nor the inclination to do, say NO, for goodness sake, for your sake. And if you wish to do something for someone because you really want to, then just do it! If you worry about what the world will think of you if you accept/ refuse someone, let me give you the red pill of reality: the world does better than make opinions of your every action or inaction. Besides, most of the people who form this little critique world of yours are probably those who have needed or will need your favor sometime, so to hell with them!
Having said that, I don't mean that good old charity goes out the window. I think it takes a lot of planning to live a fulfilling Life and one needs to introspect on ones goals and priorities regularly to know where we are headed. The world is one Big Place and Life is one Long Story. Lets give everyone a balanced diet of Ayes and Nays to help them stay healthy!
Its a known fact that people don't like hearing 'no' for an answer and yet they treat someone who gives them that negative response like superstars. And how often have we seen people who say yes to everything being buried under a truckload of favors unto others and having no time to live his/her own life? The response you give speaks little of your occupancy with work and volumes of your position in social circles. A person who says 'Yes' to everything is seen as a Crowd Pleaser, someone who just finished reading Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. On the other hand, a person who says 'No' all the time is seen as a Snob or an Isolated Individual who has just returned from a One Man Moon Mission and does not want to be in contact with anybody. It is a tough balancing act and it has a lot to do with what is it that you are saying 'No' to.
If it is to some favour someone is asking of you, your saying no most of the time would suggest that you are super-busy or have other important things to tend to. But watch out for whom you end up trying this on because you will not be favoured by those people in your hour of need. However, saying 'Yes' to every favor sought from you is detrimental to your health as well as you could end up living through your life helping others live their dreams without you living yours. An excellent way to look at these two kind of people is to flesh them out as Noman and Yeswoman.
Noman is a bank employee working in the Loans Section and has the Job of saying 'No' to many applications during the day (refer to the movie Yes! to understand the character better). Yeswoman lives on the other end of that street with a stagnant Personal Assistantship Job with a young entrepreneur and has the unique distinction of being a Bridesmaid for 27 weddings (refer to the movie 27 Dresses to understand the character better). Both of them led miserable lives 'coz all Noman did was refuse every opportunity of experiencing something new and all Yeswoman could do was help others have their dream weddings while she stood beside them basking in their flattery.
Both did the exact opposite of each other, yet both were not happy with their lives. One afternoon when Noman went out for a post lunch walk down the street he bumped into Yeswoman and dropped the bride's dress and cake she held in her dainty hands. He picked her up, apologized and agreed to pay for the losses. She accepted the apology and agreed with his idea. Later that week he asked her out to dinner and she joined him by giving her friend's rehearsal dinner a slip. And guess what before they knew it, their lives were slowly being transformed. In the following summer she quit her dead end job and was living her life as a successful Marriage Consultant for which she procured a loan from Noman's contact at his bank. He too progressed in his bank after taking proactive steps and promoting micro-credit. The following year, the two were planning their own wedding and were moving into a new house which the two of them had purchased from their new found careers.
So I guess it is not so much the response that matters but your feelings for a particular response. If someone comes asking you for something you don't have the time nor the inclination to do, say NO, for goodness sake, for your sake. And if you wish to do something for someone because you really want to, then just do it! If you worry about what the world will think of you if you accept/ refuse someone, let me give you the red pill of reality: the world does better than make opinions of your every action or inaction. Besides, most of the people who form this little critique world of yours are probably those who have needed or will need your favor sometime, so to hell with them!
Having said that, I don't mean that good old charity goes out the window. I think it takes a lot of planning to live a fulfilling Life and one needs to introspect on ones goals and priorities regularly to know where we are headed. The world is one Big Place and Life is one Long Story. Lets give everyone a balanced diet of Ayes and Nays to help them stay healthy!
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