The Point of a Struggle

Elderly Lady in Rickshaw: Can you tell us where is this (pointing at the wedding card) wedding hall? It says it is on VP Road.

Me: (embarrassed that I still don't know the names of the streets after living in Mulund for over 20 years) I am not very sure but that map on the invite helps. 

After a brief moment of thought...

First voice in my head: Let me lead them to the place asking their rickshaw to follow me.

Second voice in my head: What? Why? What is the point?

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When we work we are always told to keep a goal in mind. In fact it is the most common form of working known to humanity, isn't it? I study because I want to pass my examinations, prepare so that I can get admission into a college, search so that I might find a good partner for marriage, pray so that I might be relieved of my present suffering and problems. We never embark on a journey without a destination in mind. Why would we do that? What is the point? These are questions that strike us instantly.

And yet in these past few days I have been experiencing the 'point of pointlessness' in my cycling through the by lanes and roads of Mulund. My mind tries to follow a set pattern but I know a pattern right now would mean making the task mundane, which is dangerous from the point of view of sustaining the behaviour. And as I break one pattern I start to see another; like as I passed by the house of my English & History tutor Mrs Mary D'souza I was instantly taken back to the hours of study I would put in to study the subject of Social Studies which was my weak area. Going through each page of the text book and learning each word seemed so important back then. But today 12 years after those examinations, it seems rather futile to have gone through the effort then since I cannot even remember the data now.

The point of a struggle we are always told is to reach a goal and taste sweet success. But that works just like a cup of tea or coffee does for any adult or a drag of cocaine does for a junkie: coming alive till it is time for the next cup/drag. And that is what scares me about searching for a point in the struggle. We start scurrying so much for 'Options' we kind of lose sight on the fact that there are limitless 'Possibilities' too for us! And that's where pursuing the skill that takes you to the goal is so much more effective. This is widely covered in the philosophy of Kyūdō (Japanese Archery) which teaches the archer to look at the target not as a goal but as a mirror of one's state of mind, heart and spirit.

So how does this connect to cycling aimlessly on the road? Maybe it doesn't at the start but my aim of picking up a new hobby also helps me stay fit and lose weight. It helps me spend time thinking and helps me write out those thoughts which I have wanted to do for so long but never got around to doing it. And so my actions which will subsequently turn into rituals will further reinforce my behaviour and gradually change my motives for myself to my desired state: that of staying fit, active and creative! But I don't think about all this while I am cycling. All I think about is which turn to take next, which lane to enter and which one to exit. 

Thus concentrating on my skill of cycling frees my mind from the goal-drag that one feels which is counterproductive towards developing a new habit. But it also liberates me to see the possibilities: like the opportunity to help two strangers reach their destination (now that's ironical, isn't it?) by actually taking them there. I had no fixed path, no set time, no aim to lose weight or become fit, or any other thought cluttering my mind. As Christopher and Katja Triplett have eloquently put it to explain the philosophy of Kyudo, 'The Kyudo practitioner does not look at the target for the result of his/her practice, but inward, for the target is not a target - it is a mirror. And if the heart is right, each shot clears away some more of the obstacles clouding the vision of one's true nature.'

So did I listen to the voice in my head or did I ignore it? 

I guess it's POINTLESS revealing that if you got what I am saying, right?